I don't know how to grieve.
I really don't, I actually had to google "how to grieve".
I find myself fortunate that I have yet to lose someone who was very close to me, and those I have lost have been elderly, or very, very terminally ill.
Since I have only lost those who I believe had truly lived their lives or known that in death, they would finally have respite from their pain, I have never really felt bad when someone died.
I am all about the clichés: "they're in a better place" or "think of all the wonderful memories".
These clichés work for me, but they don't for others.
Several people who are very close to my heart are currently dealing with losses of a loved one, and while I am saddened - I have realized that my sadness isn't because of their losses, it's because I cannot make them feel better. I can't take their pain away, and help them feel better.
I am afraid to say things to them that may make them feel worse.
I put it out there that I am there for them, whenever they need to talk.
At the very least, I am a pretty good listener.
I totally can relate about this. I didn't grieve when either of my grandparents died. I was more sad about my grandma being alone (and also not getting to say goodbye) when my grandpa died last year than I was about his actual death. I have a hard time thinking of what to say when it happens to someone close to others.
ReplyDeleteWith our dear friend who just lost her grandma last week, I knew her grandma personally and felt the loss. Not as much as our friend must have, but I was sad to hear about it and I think I did all I could to express that. Another friend of mine lost his dad recently and I didn't know much more what to say than to offer condolences and wish a blessing on his memory. I sent him a card too.
You definitely are a good listener and people will appreciate it. I'm usually the one to speak in cliches.