Call Center Madness!

I think that Tuesday is going to be the day when I blog about the funny things I encounter at work. In a call center.

Today's theme is "We're all out to get you!", and by "we", I mean customer service.

*"You stole my forms! They were there and now they are gone! I saw them!"
-this caller was logged into the wrong site.

*Why do you keep changing my user name and password!? This morning I could log in and now I can't!! Why won't you let me log in!?"
-this caller had his caps lock on, user names and passwords are case sensitive.

*Why didn't you perform this transaction for me!?"
-Because we can't. It is a function that you must do yourself, like we advised you to do.

If you're happy and you know it...

I have a few friends who knit and blog and we've decided to embark on a blog project that has nothing to do with knitting. We're going to take turns coming up with a topic every Thursday and we each have to blog about it by the end of that day and post links to each other's blogs so that people can see our different perspectives on the same topic.
-Thanks to Merryland Girl for this explanation of the Thursday Blog Project.

This week's topic, "What is the happiest moment that you can remember in your life?!", is courtesy of Shara @ Desperate Madness

Other contributors to the Thursday Blog Project are:
Merryland Girl
Froggie Knits Like Crazy

Does it have to be just one!? I can't imagine what "THE" happiest moment in my life is. When I think about momentous occasions, it's hard to measure the amount of happiness each moment contained.

It's easy to say "Oh my God! It was the happiest day of my life!" in the moment, but when you look back and compare it to other happiest days/ moments, it sometimes doesn't stack up.

So, I am going to squeeze my mind grapes and present to you the juices, in the form of a list!

*When I was very young (let's say, I was six) I got a metallic royal blue bike with a glittery blue banana seat. It had blue streamers that were stuck into the ends of the glittery blue hand grips for my birthday. My dad taught me how to ride it and I can still remember how awesome that bike looked, all sparkly in the sun.

*In 1991 my older sister Cheri was pregnant with her first baby, my niece Janey. This was back before you could have an ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby, and I remember sitting on the couch next to her and asking questions about whether she thought it was a boy or a girl. I remember my sister's sister in law took her wedding band and ran a length of string through it and would dangle it over her belly. The way the ring swung would tell you whether it was a boy or a girl. We never got a definitive answer from the ring. It swung differently every pass.

Anyways, the baby was kicking, and Cheri asked if I wanted to feel it. It was the coolest thing I have ever felt. It felt like someone taking their thumb and sliding it across the palm of my hand. It was probably Janey's little heel or elbow, it was so real. It was no longer just my sister's protruding belly - it was really a baby in there. When my other sister, Stacey was pregnant with my niece Grace, she did that thing where she would set a cup on her belly and when Grace kicked, it would wiggle the cup. I think that was really fascinating. I can't wait to someday feel that for myself, from the inside.

*January 23, 1996 - the day I got my driver's license. I really don't think much explanation is required there!

*February 17, 2008 - Assembly Hall, University of IL - watching my nephew wrestle for the 2nd to last time as a high school student. Luckily, I was actively blogging at that time! Here is the blog post about that. And if you would like, you can watch the match here. There is some cheesy music up until about 7 mins, you could mute it if you wanted. But listen @ 8:38 to hear us chanting "JORDAN! JORDAN!!"

--> Fast forward to March 20, 2010 - Jordan is now a sophomore in college, placed 5th in the NCAA Wrestling Championships in Omaha, NE. He is now an NCAA All American. He wrestles on a full scholarship for the University of Illinois.

*May 16, 2009 - the day Kosta and I got married. I barely slept at all the night before, I think I fell asleep at 5am and woke up at 9am.

My BFF & Maid Of Honor, Christy and I had to go to Jewel and schlepp a trunk full of bagged ice back to the wedding location so we could get the beverages chilled, we ended up buying every bag of ice they had. The cashier looked at me, then at the ice and back at me. I looked at Christy and nonchalantly said "It is so hard to keep a body frozen in this weather!!" haha!

All day long, I had this feeling. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. After my hair was done and my dress was on, my sisters and brothers all streamed through the house to take pictures before the ceremony and the look on all of their faces was so priceless. Right before the ceremony started, my step-mom, Julie, came in and asked how I was feeling. I said I felt so good, I didn't even know the word for it. She adjusted my veil and looked me in the eyes and said "Joyful?". Yes. That was exactly how I felt. Joyful.

There have been so many happy moments in my life so far, and I think there are a lot more to be had.

The Path Not Taken

I have a few friends who knit and blog and we've decided to embark on a blog project that has nothing to do with knitting. We're going to take turns coming up with a topic every Thursday and we each have to blog about it by the end of that day and post links to each other's blogs so that people can see our different perspectives on the same topic.
-Thanks to Merryland Girl for this explanation of the Thursday Blog Project.

This week's topic, The Path Not Taken, is courtesy of Tracey @ Froggie Knits Like Crazy

Other contributors to the Thursday Blog Project are:

Merryland Girl

Desperate Madness

I could take this week's topic both literally and figuratively, and I will. Read on.

First, Literally:

On Easter Sunday 2006, I was driving home from my grandparent's house in Spring Grove and I decided to stop at Borders Books in McHenry. Afterwards, I decided instead of taking Route 31 to Route 12, like I usually would, I took Route 31 to Route 120.

At the intersection of Route 120 & Route 12, the light was changing and as I crossed into the intersection the light turned yellow.

A Chevy Suburban tried to make a left turn in front of me and it ended with my car being totaled and my collarbone broken by the force of my body being thrown against my seatbelt.

(Shortly after this accident, I met Melissa and showed off my fantastical bruises! What an icebreaker, eh?)

By choosing 'The Path Not Taken", (meaning that I would never have usually chosen that route back home) I caused myself a lot of pain.

Next, Figuratively:

Some days, I wonder what my life would be like today if I hadn't had the guts to end my first marriage.

I think about all the wonderful things I have done and people I have met because I did, and it makes me very happy that I did end it.

My marriage was strained, we were not the right people for each other. We played it out as long as we could and when we did split up, it was a huge weight off my shoulders. I was suffocated by him, we had nothing in common and being with him sucked the life out of me.

I have to admit that I am usually the one that takes the path not taken. I take chances all the time, sure, they don't all end well but I think that they put you on the path to where you are supposed to go.

If I hadn't left my first husband, I never would have met Mike, who introduced me to some of my very best friends today. If Mike and I hadn't broken up, I never would have met Kosta, who is such an awesome husband. For so many years, I said I would never get married again and believed that what my ex-husband once said: "Jenn, you were a great girlfriend, but you sure made a shitty wife" was true.

Being with Kosta made me want to not be a shitty wife anymore.

Time Warp Tuesday

From December 29, 2009...

A Post! Gasp!
11:00 am
HI!

I wanted to take a moment and tell you about a terrible experience I had with Great Clips on Friday.

It was terrible.

My gut instinct told me I should run away when I saw the land beast that was to be my stylist. And in ghetto fashion, she babbled on about getting her "hair did" (which she needed to do, desperately)

She nattered on as she cut and cut...my only request was "Please, don't shave my neck".
Since the summer, I have been rocking the inverted U bob (short in back, long in front) that has been sooo popular for the past year. Coincedentally, it was the same hair cut I had in 1997 which leads me to believe that hairstyle fashion is cyclical. But I digress...I have a low hair line (Thanks, Dad!) and stylists think they have to cut the back sooo short as to necessitate a neck buzzing to make it look good. Now, I don't know about you, but a buzzed neckline is ITCHY!
What does this bitch do? If you guessed "Shaved my neck" - you're correct!

Now, I know what you're thinking:"You must have heard the clipper, why didn't you stop her?"
1) She had already cut the length so short that I would have looked like I had a sasquatch back if she left it.
2) I am non-confrontational and scared of Tarnesha or whatever her name was. So, I just sucked it up and went to my car to cry.

*kri*scratch*kri*scratch*

In which I blog about death...

I don't know how to grieve.

I really don't, I actually had to google "how to grieve".

I find myself fortunate that I have yet to lose someone who was very close to me, and those I have lost have been elderly, or very, very terminally ill.

Since I have only lost those who I believe had truly lived their lives or known that in death, they would finally have respite from their pain, I have never really felt bad when someone died.

I am all about the clichés: "they're in a better place" or "think of all the wonderful memories".

These clichés work for me, but they don't for others.

Several people who are very close to my heart are currently dealing with losses of a loved one, and while I am saddened - I have realized that my sadness isn't because of their losses, it's because I cannot make them feel better. I can't take their pain away, and help them feel better.

I am afraid to say things to them that may make them feel worse.

I put it out there that I am there for them, whenever they need to talk.

At the very least, I am a pretty good listener.

In which I long for spring

First of all, I am sick sick sick of winter.
The weather here has been relatively nice for the past couple days, melting the giant heaps of snow into a big ol' muddy mess in our yard.

I am longing to take out my capris & flip flops, to leave the house without my bulky winter coat.
To roll down the car windows without freezing and most of all - start my vegetable garden!

Last year, Kosta and I planted 3 kinds of tomatoes: cherry, romas & yellow tomatoes, 2 kinds of bell peppers, basil, cilantro and even habanero (or scotch bonnets) and I absolutely loved that fresh produce was only a few steps away.
A lot of people say that there is nothing better than a home grown tomato and I must agree.
One of my favorite singers sums it up very well:

"Home grown tomatoes, home grown tomatoes
What would life be like without home grown
tomatoes?
Only two things that money can't buy:
That's true love and home grown tomatoes"
Home Grown Tomatoes - John Denver

To piggy back on my Thursday Blog Post, another thing most don't know about me is that I have a "Flip Flop Rule"
A rule that I abide each spring, governing when I can start wearing flip flops.
Once the weather stays above 50 degrees for 7 consecutive days, it's open season for flip flops and guess what? Yesterday the high was 52 degrees, today it's 55 degrees...all I need is 5 more days of temps above 50 and it's on!

What DON'T people know about me?

This week's topic is from Melissa @ Merryland Girl:

This past week on "American Idol," the contestants shared something that most people would probably not know about them. Now it's your turn! Please share something that most people don't know about you.

Other contributors to the Thursday Blog are:
Desperate Madness
Froggie Knits Like Crazy
Merryland Girl

Oh, Blog readers...I could write a book on this very topic.

First of all, I have a lot of quirks. A LOT. And this blog post is going to highlight some of the amusing ones.

The first of my many quirks is becoming more public, since I created a Facebook photo album highlighting it.
I love watching left-handed people write. I don't know why, I just do. It's like watching a dog walk on it's hind legs, fascinating.
Even more entertaining is how many people I know that are left-handed - quite a few, considering that on average only 9-16% of the world's population is left-handed.
I have two left-handed sisters, a left-handed niece and at least 6 left-handed friends.
(So, Melissa, Shara & Tracey...are any of you left-handed?)

Next up: I love Canada Geese. Love them!
I love to watch them graze or walk around and especially love to hear their little, webbed feet slap against wet pavement.
I know so many people who hate them, or were traumatized by them as children, but I just adore them.
Whenever I see them, I always say "GOOSES!" and they look at me like I am crazy. Which I am. Crazy for geese!

I don't know if this next one comes from working in a call center for so many years, and talking with people from all walks of life but, I cannot stand certain accents. I am not sure if it is because they are more difficult to understand, or if I have some sort of subconscious aversion to them.
This is doubly odd because my husband is from Russia, and speaks with a (super sexy) Russian accent. My stepdad is from Mexico, and has a Spanish accent and I dated a Colombian guy with a thick Spanish accent - I am/was fine with them, and to be quite honest - with the Colombian and the Russian, the accents were/are pretty sexy in my opinion!
Three accents that I loathe, yet deal with on a daily basis are: South African men, Asian women and French (male or female).

Speaking of subconscious aversions...at the first office job I ever had, whenever my boss talked to me it made me yawn. Every time.

And here's an odd one:
I hate crowded places & really dislike going to the movie theater.

I can't sleep without the TV on, and more specifically, I can't sleep without Futurama or The Simpsons. Luckily, I have a huge stack of DVD seasons of both.
I could watch the same disc every night for a week, but if it's not on, I just lay there blinking in the dark.
In a pinch, like when staying in a hotel or away from home, I have been known to use The Food Network to fall asleep. That is a last resort though.
Thankfully, my husband is usually coming to bed by the time the sleep timer has turned the TV off and I am blissfully sawing logs.